31 somewhat narcissistic things I am thankful for

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You know how so many people were doing that Facebook thing where everyday they said another thing they were thankful for? Yeah, I didn’t do that. But it did get me thinking about what I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving. Of course, I am thankful every single day I am alive because after what I went through to give birth to my twins, it really did show me the fragility of life.

Whoa. Got really serious up in here. Taking it down a notch, I realized that I am thankful for many things that really don’t mean much, but you know what? Screw it. They mean something to me. And yeah, I’m thankful for all that really deep stuff too. So here goes (just a little sap peppered in) …

The 31 somewhat narcissistic things I am thankful for …

  1. I don’t have stretch marks. Not a one. Terribly thankful there.
  2. I’m thankful I fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes.
  3. I’m thankful people tell me I look 25 when I tell them how old I really am.
  4. I’m thankful for those very people who lie to me so I feel all young and supple.
  5. My breasts got better looking after breastfeeding my twins. Thank you, my boobies.
  6. I’m thankful I have really freakin’ awesome kids.
  7. I’m thankful when they sleep through the night.
  8. I’m thankful I grew my hair out all one length because I don’t have to ever blowdry it (braid and go when it’s wet).
  9. I appreciate my grey hair.
  10. I’m thankful my husband still wants to be my husband.
  11. And he is really dang cool except when he’s being a poopy diaper.
  12. I’m thankful I can call him a poopy diaper and he won’t get that mad.
  13. I’m of course thankful that if he does get mad we make up pretty quickly in the best way two people can make up.
  14. I’m thankful that he doesn’t freak out when I take a hiatus from the razor.
  15. I’m thankful you are reading this.
  16. I’m thankful I don’t mind the way I look without makeup.
  17. I’m also thankful that when I put on makeup I think Hey now! You look pretty good!
  18. I’m thankful my parents are amazing grandparents.
  19. I’m thankful I’m less angsty as I age.
  20. My backne cleared up after pregnancy, thank you very much.
  21. I’m thankful my one false tooth that got knocked out playing punchball when I was 12 never fell out in public. Yet.
  22. I’m thankful my friends may get annoyed with me but they love me and are still my friends.
  23. I’m thankful I don’t get hung up on stupid stuff that much anymore.
  24. I’m thankful my kids eat fish even though my husband and I find it repulsive.
  25. I’m thankful I don’t mind hand-me-downs, shopping at yard sales, or really inexpensive stores.
  26. I’m thankful that I am hopeful.
  27. I’m thankful I don’t live in Zuccotti Park or near it — getting around with twins would be hard.
  28. I’m thankful I can eat a lot of chocolate and cake and not gain weight.
  29. I realize that may change with age but for now I have to be really thankful for it so it deserves two spaces on this list.
  30. I’m thankful I don’t mind the way I look with glasses because not being able to see kind of sucks and the thought of putting little round things in my eyes everyday freaks me the hell out.
  31. I’m thankful for the time I had to write this while my kids were peacefully napping.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The lovely Leila Shams took this photo. I’m thankful for that, too, of course.

My highly riveting list of things I really want to do before I get too old …

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I have a running list in my head of things I want to do or have. But since it’s hard to get anything done until I write it down, I thought writing it down here might help some of these things really happen. Sure, some are lofty and frivolous, but whatever, we’re talking stuff of dreams, man. Live it!
Realistically, some of these things may never ever happen. But wishing it could sort of keeps the dream alive (or just taunts me into realizing my mortality). Okay, I’ll stay with the glass half full there.

So here they are … the things I want to do or have …

1. Take a trapeze class.
2. Learn how to play the violin.
3. Record that song with my hubs that we keep saying we will do and never do.
4. Move upstate (this is actually in the works).
5. Have another baby.
6. Own a real couch, not a futon. (Look, totally achievable!)
7. Get over my fear of flying.
8. Own a ’72 Chevy Nova in cherry red.
9. Own a Ford F1 pickup truck from late 40s/early 50s, any color.
10. Have a yard with some chickens.
11. Have a dog that uses the toilet.
12. Have a cat or two that uses toilet and doesn’t scratch.
13. Finish my book.
14. Finish my other book.
15. Start that other book I keep thinking about.
16. Visit my Aunt Tena and Grandparents at the cemetery way out on Long Island.
17. Drive a motorcycle.
18. Have a little ‘around town’ Vespa.
19. Road trip more.
20. Go on a mud-loving vacation where I ride ATVs in the woods all day.

That’s it for now.

Origin of Tattoo Vespa Girl image

Holy Dracula Halloween Fun Times!

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Halloween weekend came and went with some incredible swings of emotions. Perhaps only I can cry at a church basement Halloween party with indoor bouncy houses, a DJ wearing above the belly button track pants, and Jesus in a glass coffin behind a slightly open curtain, but seeing my son start dancing to the Monster Mash brought out the waterworks. I blinked ten times fast and it was gone though. No one knew … except maybe Jesus. Who clearly showed his appreciation for my sap with an explosion of candy. Oh wait. That was dracula … THE dracula who was really the funeral director who handed out candy from a coffin hand-carved in Italy at his funeral home.

Take a look at all the dancing!

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Above is my parents (aka Me-ma and Pop-pop) outside the funeral home.

Yes, a funeral home was open for trick-or-treaters on Monday, but I mistakenly thought it was on Saturday. So in the middle of the WTF-WHY? snowstorm that hit us, and after the church party, I, along with my husband, the double stroller of twins, and my sister- and brother-in-law in town from Wisconsin (where there was NO snow), walked to see what kind of fun these people really put in funeral. The doors were locked. THANK YOU JESUS! Because I led us there on was the wrong day! I don’t want to imagine the look of horror on everyone’s face if they were open and I pushed in with all the snow and 2-year-old twins shouting Happy Ha-whoa-weeeeeeee! Luckily the real Halloween was full of sunshine.

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In the three days of celebrating, we had some costume changes. Hunti was mini Drew Brees, the Saints quarterback, OR he was a pirate. Arrrgh! Pippi was a Saints cheerleader OR a Toddler & Tiara contestant (without spray tan). I was a cat;
I said ‘meow’ a lot; my husband, in-laws, and even my parents who LOVE dressing up were all lame and didn’t have a costume of any sort. Okay, except for those bat ears I told hubs to wear.

Still, it was anything but boring. I even got kudos from a local mom when I was handing out “candy” on my front step. Her kid got the organic and real fruit gummies instead of the temporary skull and crossbone tattoos. (The tattoos were way cooler, though.)

My favorite holiday got even more favoriter. Hope you had a great Ha-whoa-weeeeeeee!