Family poo: We all smell the same

I love potty humor.

Mamarotica: He shaved and hair wasn't everywhere!

One of my favorite subjects is sex. Soft sex, hard sex, light sex, dark sex, explicit sex, and fluffy bunnies and fairytale sex. I've written about it extensively for 12 years professionally...before that unprofessionally. Whatever that means.

Since I got pregnant last year there wasn't a whole lot of sex -- having it or writing it. So I am a bit rusty, or shall we say dry?

Ew no, we shouldn't say dry.

So lately, things turn me on that are a little out of the norm.

My husband shaved and when he was done there was hardly a trace of his whiskers on this sink.

Totally hot.

In the past the only kind of hair removal that make me excited was when I would have my bikini waxed.

It wasn't the act of waxing that was sexy, of course, it was the result.

Now I'm turned on by my husband's cleanliness during his intimate encounter with his razor.

Sigh.

Things I do when pumping

Since I've gone back to work, I've been a pumping machine!

I pump at work. I pump when I get home from work if my timing is off. And I pump on weekends to keep up with my freezer stash.

OK, that's kind of a lie. I often conveniently forget to pump on weekends.

For all the other times I pump, this is what I do to pass the time. And yes, my pump is the hands-free Medela pump -- the Mercedes of nipple suckers.

-Look online for clothes I want to buy...for myself and babies.
-Catch up on my shows on dvr.
-Send photos I took with my phone to flickr.
-Wonder if the sound of the pump can be heard from the hall when I pump at work.
-Refresh my makeup.
-Think of blog posts...like this one.
-Wonder if I will show self restraint with the brownie mix waiting to be made in my cabinet.
-Have concern over my nipples being stretched.
-Feel like a cow. The machine even sounds like it's mooing.
-Recall the days when my teets were for sexual excitement.
-Realize I'm slouching and try to work on my poor posture.
-Think wow only 5 minutes have passed since I hooked myself up to this thing!
-Wish I had those brownies.

Now that I'm a mom...

I'm softer now and not just around the middle.

I'm back to work now...transition is hard. I miss my little ones.

One of my first posts I wrote at work is called Now That I'm a Mom.

Tears welled in my eyes when I wrote it.

Check it out...

The twins' nursery

My most favorite place in the house is the nursery. The babies don't even sleep in it yet since they are in the co-sleeper in our bedroom, but we do spend time in there for some daytime naps, reading, rocking in the glider, and of course, diaper changes.

We live in a loft-like apartment -- there aren't walls to separate rooms, so we bought wardrobe closets from IKEA to act like walls and I stapled fabric to the back of one so it looked pretty. Crafty!

We have these crazy big windows and I made curtains out of fabric, too -- much more cost effective. Sadly the windows don't look out to the prettiest of landscapes, but it's great for people watching...or watching people walk to the subway or waiting for the bus...and the eyesore that is the elevated subway platform in Brooklyn.

When we first moved in and people needed to find my apartment, I'd just say get off the subway, look across the street for big windows with colorful curtains, and that's my house.

The sun rises outside those windows and the light that comes in is kind of the most beautiful light shining in ever.

The set of four graphic prints were made by my friend Diane Ferrera. And the keys were made by another friend, Michelle Eddison, aka, Mommy Making Prints. The animals dressed up are by Ryan Berkley -- he's not a friend, but only because I don't know him...I just liked his work.

My last maternity leave morning

Today is my last day of maternity leave and I'm so happy that it started out sunny.

Each morning, after my husband leaves for work, I have quiet time with the twins. My bedroom gets the morning sun and the the light that comes through when the sky is clear is really beautiful.

After I nurse the babies, we just hang out in the bed. This is the one feeding that they never seem to be fussy after.

Hunter loves looking around giving me tons of expressions with his eyes.

Penelope looks at the designs on our curtains, cooing and making these little excited pot belly pig sounds.

I get gummy smiles and hear their little voices -- "ah ah ah," they both say.

I take pictures with my phone and send them to my mom.

I tell H & P what our plans are for the day. They seem very interested.

I hold their little hands, watch their legs and feet wiggle.

I notice the changes in them that seem to happen each day.

It's been the most amazing 12 weeks of my life.

Vacation pics

We embarked on our first family vacation!

It was four days at my parents' house.

What?!

OK, the parents were away, and they live in upstate NY where the air is fresh and life is a bit more baby friendly. Ah the country!

You know, big malls, restaurants that fit double strollers, homes that don't have three flights of stairs to get into.

Hunter's hair seemed to grow overnight.

It was a chance for daddy to spend time with us without having to work and for me to enjoy my last weekend before my maternity leave ends.




We went to Target and bought the babies a play mat and also went to Walmart and found Dale Earnhardt Jr. onesies for them to wear on race day.

Hung out with my friends Tina and Terumi, who have four kids between them, and talked mommy stuff.

Had a visit with Mike and Michelle and their 7 month old cutie Jillian and exchanged new parent stories.

Visited with mom-to-be Gina who is due on March 15th with her first baby, a girl, she is naming Josephine. Love that name -- it's also my mom's name.

I didn't want to leave.

We're back in Brooklyn, daddy's back at work, I'm watching the snow fall, while the babies are napping.

I want to be a country girl.